There are many people who'd be there just to bring you down; but your job isn't to wallow in self pity. Your job, is to go out there, and shine so so so bright, that your brightness overpowers the darkness they cast on you.
Yours Truly;
J o r d y n :) Officially 16 on 20th January 2013. God's child since 19 June 2011 and never regretting my decision. Exceptionally hyper and sometimes crazy. #woohoo
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Wednesday, October 17, 2012
"Under the same sky we live, Miles apart but close at heart, Look up, you will see the guiding stars, Remember me, even when I depart."
Im lost amidst a mist of loneliness, and I dont know where I could go. My heart is fragile, its almost broken; and I've lost the sanity in me too. I hear the songs of dead calling out for me, they want me to join with them now. I feel their sadness; their pain. I want to run and join with them too. I have lost those who were near me, those who were dear. All I have is an unbearable melancholy, and silence which turns my blood cold. When all hope's lost, there's no point in living. Its just an unbearable pain.Its as if you die each minute you're alive, this silence; it kills you too. Goodbye, that is all I can say, although I hate goodbyes. I may not be lucky to be in your life, and maybe its true.
Days are just running past each day, and here I am thinking about the promises we made to each other. Promises we should have kept for the sake of our tomorrow. But no, its all broken. Is it really meant to be broken? You might have forgotten, but me? I'll just be holding on, although it feels like a chain of stones hanging onto my neck- a burden, an unsaid burden. You'll probably never know of the words I've been dying to say, and you'll probably never know how I really feel on the inside. And I'll probably never have the courage ever to tell you. But I guess its better this way. All of us, just living life our way. With our own happiness and sadness. Im not sure if it still affects you, but Im certain it still affects me quite a fair bit. Sigh, when will this agony end? In fact, will it ever? Until the day I delete all your messages and photos, you're still a huge part of me. And with this huge part missing, what I am to do? 2012 is a year of ups and down for me. How many friendships I've lost because of the failure of showing my appreciation towards them; how many opportunities I've missed to recoup the friendship. Im just hoping for a better 2013. A 2013 where I'll finally be brave enough to stand up for the things I love. 1st Jan 2013, Im just going to be a whole new person. I'll speak. I'll talk. I'll play. I wont be that person that seems so cold anymore. Sorry doesnt even count this time. What does a sorry do? All it does is make it as if the situation is better. But is it really? No. Sorry is just a word until actions are made. I've made all the apologies; but now, I should start with the actions. Actions of love.
Sometimes I really wonder. Can you guys actually sense that Im trying to talk to you? All those text messages I sent, always bringing along a reason to why Im texting. You really think I just need you to answer the question? No. Those were just excuses. Excuses for me to talk to you guys. But I doubt you will ever sense it anyway.. Since its always just a short sentence reply before nobody talks again for the next 1 month or so. Sometimes it really hurts to see this. Why cant the conversation go further anymore. Even a short chat, is enough to make me feel happy for the rest of the week.. :/ Sigh, but you'll never know what I really want anyway. Its not like you guys will read my blog.
